Tom Swifties

A collection of Tom Swiftie puns

"I'm telling Lee!" Tom said tellingly.

"We have the right to wed", Tom said aloud to Mary.

"I'm so glad I switched to driving for Lyft!" Tom said exuberantly.

"Some people root for the darkness, but not me", Tom sighed with delight.

"The drugs are making me horny", said Tommy, wrecked.

"It was easy, just find a template online and fill in the blanks," Tom said of his own free will.

"I can't finish this pizza, see if the world's biggest pop star wants the rest," said Tom, beyond satiated. ?

"A toll road is fine with me, but can you find a cheap one?" asked Tom by way of assent.

"I think I know who stole my cookie," Tom guesstimated.

"Sleeping in this position is bad for your back", Tom got off his chest.

"ok lol maybe i had a fw drinks", Tom hammered at the keyboard.

"I'd like to underscore how important this is", Tom marked down.

"Even if her country singing stinks / I do not think she should be in the clink", Tom sang, freely in rhymes. ?

"I registered the domain for my new travel company website three times, just to be sure," Tom said triply.

"My robotic arm was designed by Anna Klee", Tom said bionically.

"I wonder what we'll find at the top of Mons Olympus?" said Tom, his curiosity piqued.

"I'm moving, but it's not clear where," Tom said intransitively. ?

"I keep my loose change in a very secret place", Tom's sister said, her lips pursed.

"Honey, I want to try something different tonight," Tom said, thinking outside the box.

"I don't care what you think, misspelling things makes me happy," Tom extrappelated.

"Verily, I hath been besieged by the townspeople," wrote Hester in undated, withered letters. ?

"Are you feeling a little hoarse?" Tom the animal control officer said arrestingly.

"I suppose you'll want to stretch before the race?" Tom presumed.

"Where does that guy think she's goo-ing?" Tom mispronounced.

If your granny says there's gold in them thar hills, then there is!" said Tom to a minor for denyin' her.

"I'm not sure how to verbally abbreviate New Year's Eve", Tom said naively.

Axioms are important, but some people take them for granted," Tom taught illogically. ?

"Our team still has first choice in the draft," Tom said, staying on topic.

"This is a cheap frame, and I will not allow it in this courtroom!" said Tom with no admission of guilt.

"The czaRIna is REALly a PAIN in the BUM!" Tom said anapestically.

"We don' need no big statues on de island, dat's crazy!" Tom said monumentally. ?

"I know you can't normally charge money for organs, but what if it's never been used before?" Tom asked celibately.

"I divided the pool in to quadrants to make it easier to rank the dolphins by attractiveness," said Tom for his own sordid purposes. ?

"I think I'll go wander the world, since the dwarves in my loft stole my large agricultural tool similar to a pickaxe," Tom said nomadically. ?